she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
