She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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