Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
