do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
