It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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