weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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