Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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