I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
