did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize