You can't special order awesome
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
