If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
