He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
