so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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