could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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