Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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