I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You were trust falling into bushes
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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