ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
