She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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