Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she peed on how many people?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
