I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
