i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
