No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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