Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
