dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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