you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
