How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize