does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
