She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
