I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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