yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
