check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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