That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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