Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
