are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
