You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
