Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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