Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
