I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize