Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
