Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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