Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
