a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
