So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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