check it out our google latitudes are spooning
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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