Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
