i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
God, I missed his penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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