What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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