do herpes really smell.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
the liver wants what the liver wants
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
