whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
