That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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