thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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