i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
