it's not cheating when I paid for it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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