Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
