Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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