i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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