Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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