just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
