What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
