dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize