i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
